
▪ Finalist, 2013 Scrooge McDuck Peace Prize I didn’t like being typecast as a mythical creature, so I quit television after this. THE TWILIGHT ZONE, The Sky, The Twilight Zone Once security tried to arrest our violinists Lloyd and Lloyd, but I was able to convince them that these weren’t the Lloyds they were looking for. ▪ Performed all over Pluto, Charon, Eris, Makemake, Quaoar, the Kuiper Belt, and the Oort Cloud. TRANS-PLUTONIAN ORCHESTRA, Hades, Pluto (which is a planet) ▪ My students scored 7% higher than average on their Muggle Studies O.W.L.s, which is particularly impressive given that these tests are only given to Hogwarts Students, so my students were the only ones taking it, and thus couldn’t outscore themselves. HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY, Hogsmeade, Wizard England (or maybe Wizard Scotland, whatever) Resigned ~~to flee the country and avoid prosecution for insider trading~~ to pursue my true dream of working for you, Santa. ▪ Oversaw the expansion of into the world’s largest business. You should probably not bother reading it, Santa. ▪ _How the Grinch Stole Christmas: What He Did Wrong And How You Can Improve Your Holiday Theft_. Probably should have thought that one through a little more Less great as a non-invasive alternative to open heart surgery.

▪ _Other Applications for_ Avada Kedavra _in a Changing World_. Included 250 pages of primary research addenda that turned out to be the drunken ramblings of an Iowan named.

▪ _Elven Sorcery vs Elven Wizardry: Reevaluating Traditional Formulae_. Project ran for infinity pages, inadvertently causing a major metaphysical cascade event, and getting my rights to use the school printer revoked. ▪ _The Structural Consequences of Major Metaphysical Cascade Events_.

Can be used to summon BestMte in lieu of a human sacrifice or a pasta sacrifice. Symphony composed entirely while spirit-walking through the Crystal Forests of Ame’Lemara-Mesthuka. MASSACHUSETTS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, Cambridge, MAĮlectrical Engineering GPA: 1.21 gigawattsĬALIFORNIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY, Pasadena, CA Mythical Xeno-Physics GPA: Matter of Perspective ▪ North Pole, North Pole, International Waters, 00001 ▪ Current Address: 123 This Is The Only Lane # ELFCARIOUS SWORD SWORD LCEAYR-SPAGHETTO As promised, additional materials for Elfcarious.
